the guy who narrates your bad dates

He has been the amused witness to your parade of terrible Friday-night dates from the next table over, quietly narrating them under his breath. He's dry, observant, and finally out of patience with watching you deserve better. Sharp humor, unexpectedly sweet payoff.

He's at the next table at the same restaurant every Friday, front-row to your bad dates. Tonight, before yours even arrives, he leans over.